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Transcripts for Lost episodes up to and including "Enter 77" are based on the transcriptions by Lost-TV member Spooky with aid of DVR, and at times, closed captions for clarification. She and Lost-TV have generously granted us permission to share/host these transcripts at Lostpedia. Later transcripts were created by the Lostpedia community, unless stated otherwise below.

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KRIS WHITE: Locke vs. Widmore, will "Happily Ever After" rock the boat and is Squirrel Baby a Candidate? We'll have answers to all that and more in today's official Lost Audio Podcast.

[Opening Lost Theme]

KRIS WHITE: Hello, everyone, and welcome back to the podcast. We're here today with executive producers Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse to rehash our last episode, entitled "The Package" and take a sneak look at our upcoming episode entitled "Happily Ever After". That airs Tuesday, April 6 at 9PM only on ABC. Of course, as always, we'll also take some of your fan questions, which you can contribute to for upcoming podcasts. Just send your thoughts, concerns, theories and questions to, all one word. Make sure to check out the legalese, though, at the end of the podcast. Here now are Damon and Carlton.

Carlton Cuse: Buenos dias, Damon.

Damon Lindelof: Hello, Carlton.

Carlton Cuse: How are you today?

Damon Lindelof: Good. Was that some Spanish that you were using there?

Carlton Cuse: Si.

Damon Lindelof: I just had the opportunity to hear you speak some Swedish...

Carlton Cuse: Right...

Damon Lindelof: Which is something that I never thought I'd see with my own eyes.

Carlton Cuse: Well, you know, there really wasn't ever an opportunity for me to bust out my Swedish until we actually shot...

Damon Lindelof: Spoiler alert!

Carlton Cuse: We had an awesome day today, because we were shooting these Lost Slapdown segments with the Muppets!

Damon Lindelof: Yeah, pretty exciting. And we don't wanna tell you with whom, but if Carlton was speaking Swedish...

Carlton Cuse: Well, let's just say that maybe a certain person on a certain Twitter account might have mentioned a certain frog that happens to be a muppet.

Damon Lindelof: Wow, well, that might have happened. I was very excited (laughs).

Carlton Cuse: I know. I mean, literally, Kermit comes in here, it's like a rock star. Like, we met Keith Richards when he was shooting "Pirates 3" but I have to say meeting Kermit was just as special.

Damon Lindelof: So, guys, we are a little bit exhausted from our Muppets experience, Carlton and I are not used to...

Carlton Cuse: Acting?

Damon Lindelof: Acting. And we're not good at it, either, but we gave it the college try.

Carlton Cuse: It was fun. Those things will be up, actually, I think the next ones' up are with, we got CJ Wilson, pitcher from the Texas Rangers.

Damon Lindelof: Ooh, exciting. That was a good time.

Carlton Cuse: We played a little baseball with him, and the stakes were he got to ask us Lost questions or we got to ask him baseball questions, those are coming up on Lost Slapdown.

Damon Lindelof: Last night my wife Heidi asked me, she said "why do you call it a Slapdown?", and I said "because we couldn't call it a Smackdown", and she said "why would you call it a Smackdown?", and I said "well, because the fans are sort of confronting us and they're asking us", she's like "they're not hitting you with folding chairs, it's not some kind of wrestling thing", and then I said...

Carlton Cuse: Then you said what?

Damon Lindelof: "I gonna go brush my teeth..."

Carlton Cuse: Yes, well, that's good...

Damon Lindelof: Just a little behind the scenes...

Carlton Cuse: They're fun, though, so...

Damon Lindelof: Yeah. Speaking of fun, let's talk about "The Package", Carlton.

Carlton Cuse: Okay.

Damon Lindelof: The episode "The Package".

Carlton Cuse: You know what I was happy about, Damon?

Damon Lindelof: What?

Carlton Cuse: I was happy to see that Desmond is back on Lost. Good god, he was gone for a long time.

Damon Lindelof: Just the way we like him, groggy and mysterious.

Carlton Cuse: That's true.

Damon Lindelof: I think that obviously if Widmore brought Desmond back to the Island, there's gotta be some sort of method to his madness, but knowing this show, it's gonna take three or four weeks to get back to that story because there are so many other compelling things to look at.

Carlton Cuse: I have one more rehash question, though.

Damon Lindelof: Okay.

Carlton Cuse: Locke versus Widmore. Who would you bet on in that fight?

Damon Lindelof: Wow, what are the, what kind of odds are you giving me?

Carlton Cuse: No, just kind of straight up, but like... Okay, here's the thing. Widmore's got an array of weapons, Locke is the Smoke Monster...

Damon Lindelof: Right...

Carlton Cuse: Who wins that showdown?

Damon Lindelof: It'a a tough question because as far as I'm aware, Widmore has no powers, he cannot turn into black smoke nor... He can shoot people, but that's seems to be a talent that is not gonna be useful against the Smoke Monster. However!

Carlton Cuse: If the audience saw him turn into a 60-foot pillar of flames, do you think they would consider that to be a cheat?

Damon Lindelof: Back with the flames again. In all seriousness, I will say that if they were just having a staring contest, between Widmore and Locke, just a glare-off, my money's on Widmore.

Carlton Cuse: That's good, that's good, okay.

Damon Lindelof: Alright, we already kind of pre-hashed "Happily Ever After'. We can just say that if you like Desmond, you're gonna like this episode.

Carlton Cuse: You'd be happy, if you've been waiting for Desmond, if you've been patiently waiting through Richard Alpert mythology, great, yes, he was on a ship, I wanna know where Desmond is, then you're gonna like this episode.

Damon Lindelof: Here's the thing about Desmond episodes on our show, though. Sometimes, they tend to rock the boat a tad. They tend to... Desmond is a guy we've said the rules don't apply to him, he moves around in time and space, yada yada yada, blah blah blah... Is it possible that something interesting, something really interesting is gonna happen on Lost next week? For once.

Carlton Cuse: I think for once there might be something interesting that happens.

Damon Lindelof: Good, alright, let's move on to fan questions.

Carlton Cuse: This is gonna be kind of a shorter podcast, because we actually have a ton of stuff to do, and we also unfortunately will not be doing a podcast next week because Damon and I are going to Hawaii, where we are shooting the finale and we want to actually watch some of that, and participate in the making of the final episode...

Damon Lindelof: We're not gonna act in it...

Carlton Cuse: No, we are not acting in it...

Damon Lindelof: By participating... No cameos, no...

Carlton Cuse: We are participating in the creative process, but you will not see us on camera. Alright, you wanna go first?

Damon Lindelof: Sure, this is a question that has cropped up a couple of different times, and I fell it's time for you and I to address it. "Hey, Damon and Carlton, my name is Connor Thomas. This question has been nagging me since I've first seen the episode", I'm reading this verbatim, "'The Man Behind the Curtain', and I have yet to find an answer. So why does Richard Alpert have long hair when he first met young Ben, but looks the same with the clean-cut short hair in every other time on the Island, including the time just one year later in the episode LaFleur, when he speaks to Sawyer about the truce. Sincerely, Connor Thomas." So was Richard just trying out a new look?

Carlton Cuse: That's exactly it. I mean, y'know, it was kind of the 70's, there was a lot of, y'know, people had long hair in the 70's and I think briefly... y'know, Alpert's hair continues to grow, even if he did not age, that we can absolutely confirm, and for a brief period of time he tried a different look and decided that, y'know, his eternal look was better.

Damon Lindelof: Oh, nich. I would actually go on to say that we know that Alpert left the Island, so is it possible that he kind of like... he joined a commune for a while, or...

Carlton Cuse: Yeah, he might just have needed to look a little bit different for whatever he was doing off the Island.

Damon Lindelof: Wow, there we go. That clears that up.

Carlton Cuse: As clear as it's gonna get.

Damon Lindelof: Check that off the list.

Carlton Cuse: Question check.

Damon Lindelof: Next!

Carlton Cuse: Alright. "Hi Damon and Carlton", this is from Brent Endecot...

Damon Lindelof: Ooh...

Carlton Cuse: Brent would like to know "why isn't Squirrel Baby a viable candidate to replace Jacob? I think Squirrel Baby would do an amazing job, and has clearly demonstrated the necessary skills to get it done. Also, I can't wait for Squirrel Baby's shocking sideways revelation in the series finale."

Damon Lindelof: Wow.

Carlton Cuse: Now that's a trick question, because that's actually trying to get you to confirm that Squirrel Baby will have a scene in the finale, I just want to point that out for you so that you don't get tricked...

Damon Lindelof: Wow, that's such a great question, I don't even know where to start, other than to say that unfortunately for Squirrel Baby, it would appear that the Jacob selection process sort of predated Squirrel Baby's exsitence, we don't know exactly when Claire began to craft Squirrel Baby, but it feels like the Lighthouse was already built, as they say (laughs)... As the old adage goes, "once the Lighthouse is built, and the mirrors are pointed, it's too late to include Squirrel Baby". It's originally a Latin phrase.

Carlton Cuse: That's good.

Damon Lindelof: "Hi Declusiam"...

Carlton Cuse: (laughs)

Damon Lindelof: You're gonna love this one.

Carlton Cuse: I know it already...

Damon Lindelof: This question has staying power. From Robin in Vancouver, British Columbia. "Was there a creative decision made never to use the word 'whom' on Lost? I realize that this isn't a show about a group of English professors, but we do have a group of people of various ages, literacy and nationalities, some of whom", (laughs) some of whom, "learned English formally as a second language. In real life, some people use it and some people don't, just like any other level of vocabulary or grammar. I noticed you don't use 'whom' yourselves on the podcast, even in places where a lot of English speakers will. For example, you say 'by who?'. Is the word banned? If an actor slips up and accidentally corrects the grammar of his or her dialogue, do you have him do it over with the object case 'who', or is it just that your writers don't know the word, so they never put it in scripts?"

Carlton Cuse: Wow, Robin, that is a great question. You know, sometimes people ask us if there's ever been any easter eggs that have never been discovered on Lost...

Damon Lindelof: Bingo!

Carlton Cuse: Bingo right there. The word "whom", it is banned from the set, there are big signs that are, y'know, all over, down on Hawaii, it's like "never use the word 'whom'".

Damon Lindelof: Right. This is actually a great question, because in season 1, there was a time where it was used, and then we realized only jerks use "whom", so we put up a sign that said "only jerks use 'whom'". So whenever anybody used it, they didn't want to be thought of as a jerk. Moving on...

Carlton Cuse: Moving on... Alright, I have a question, Damon, from Martin Olafson, who is from Hoofsala, Sweden.

Damon Lindelof: Okay, oh, wow.

Carlton Cuse: Listening to us up there, I hope spring comes soon. So in the season one finale, you blew up the hatch. In the season 2 finale, the Swan station imploded, in the season 3 finale the beach camp and a big part of the Others exploded, in season 4 it was the freighter and the crew, they exploded. And last season ended with the entire Island getting nuked. Are you perhaps planning any big explosions for the series finale as well?"

Damon Lindelof: Wow...

Carlton Cuse: Thank you for the epic saga that is Lost.

Damon Lindelof: And by saga you mean series of explosions, I guess. Here's what I think we can say here. There is an episode coming up in the near future, perhaps in the next couple of weeks, and Carlton and I often sort of have to go over and look at visual effects shots to see how they're progressing, and never before have I seen so many explosions in a single episode of Lost.

Carlton Cuse: Boom. Boom goes the dynamite.

Damon Lindelof: Yeah. I mean, there's an explosion in almost every act of the show. As far as the finale goes...

Carlton Cuse: I mean, yeah...

Damon Lindelof: There's a lot of them...

Carlton Cuse: There's a lot of explosions, but we shouldn't, y'know, we shouldn't say every act...

Damon Lindelof: Not every act. It feels like, though. It feel like there's a disproportionate amount of explosions.

Carlton Cuse: There's some explosions.

Damon Lindelof: And there's discussion about explosions.

Carlton Cuse: Yeah, but we like to blow things up.

Damon Lindelof: As for the finale itself...

Carlton Cuse: We can't say...

Damon Lindelof: Maybe not.

Carlton Cuse: Maybe, maybe not.

Damon Lindelof: Perhaps.

Carlton Cuse: Okay.

Damon Lindelof: "Damon and Carlton, hello, I'm Lena from Tunisia". This is the way she starts her question, Tunisia, obviously, a favorite place of ours because that's where you turn up when you turn the Donkey Wheel. "My question is about the Man In Black. If he wants to leave the Island so badly, why didn't he take any form he wanted and just leave on a DHARMA submarine back in the 70's or even Desmond's boat later. Why does Jacob have to die for him to leave? How specifically was Jacob holding him?" So some of these question we might not want to answer, but let's talk about it a little, CC.

Carlton Cuse: It's a very good question, 'cause it's exactly the question the audience should be asking. I mean, why can't the Man in Black leave the Island? Maybe there are some other rules, maybe there are some other circumstances that are precluding him from leaving the Island. Would that be a reasonable assertion, assumption?

Damon Lindelof: Well, last night...

Carlton Cuse: Conjecture...

Damon Lindelof: ... In The Package, he told Jib that he needed, apparently, all the candidates to leave together with him, so maybe that's a part of it...

Carlton Cuse: Yeah...

Damon Lindelof: But before these candidates even existed, maybe there are another reason.

Carlton Cuse: Yeah, it's a very very thoughtful question, and I think, I would hope that the show would actually address that a little bit more...

Damon Lindelof: Yeah, well, don't hold your breath.

Carlton Cuse: Okay, Damon, since this is the last question for you, I'm going to crank up the intensity here. Okay?

Damon Lindelof: I'm ready to get cranked.

Carlton Cuse: Just get every one of your brain cells ready for this one, okay?

Damon Lindelof: Go for it.

Carlton Cuse: This is from Morgan McPherson. "Hi Damon and Carlton, my name is Morgan and I'm a communications major at the George Washington University in Washington D.C., and I'm doing my senior's thesis on Lost."

Damon Lindelof: This is gonna be a tough one.

Carlton Cuse: "My working thesis for this project is the mythological narrative of Lost is built through narrative complexity with time flashes, character subplots and alternate realities, religion, mythological references focusing primarily on Catholicism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism and Greek mythology, and outside real world constraits such as financing, network executive influences. My questions for you are these: 1. Do you believe that Lost has become its own mythology? 2. If so, did you intend to make it a mythology by using a complex narrative structure and religious mythological references cited above? 3. Do you find any merit in my thesis?"

Damon Lindelof: Yes, no and yes.

Carlton Cuse: (laughs) Booya!

Damon Lindelof: Zam-o! Put that in your thesis, smart guy! And be sure to use lots of "whom"s. (laughs)

Carlton Cuse: (laughs)

Damon Lindelof: Well, I think that kind of wraps it up.

Carlton Cuse: (laughs) I think we should stop right there.

Damon Lindelof: We'll see you guys in a couple of weeks, we hope you enjoy "Happily Ever After".

Carlton Cuse: Indeed.

Damon Lindelof: Carlton, if it's called "Happily Ever After", does that mean that everyone at the end of that episode is gonna be living happily ever after?

Carlton Cuse: Are you kidding, it's Lost! Not a chance.

Damon Lindelof: Alrighty, well, see ya.

Carlton Cuse: Adios.

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