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Episode 12 - "Dead Is Dead"

Written by: Brian K. Vaughan & Elizabeth Sarnoff

Directed by: Stephen Williams

Act 1

[Flashback - A man rides into a camp on horseback. He dismounts and walks through the camp until he finds Richard Alpert.]

MAN: [British accent] What have you done, Richard?

RICHARD: Calm down. Calm down. This has nothing to do with you.

MAN: So it's true? You actually brought one of them to our Temple?

RICHARD: He's just a boy, and he was dying.

MAN: Then you should've let him die.

RICHARD: Jacob wanted it done. The Island chooses who the Island chooses. You know that.

MAN: Yes. Yes, of course. What's his name?

[The man enters a tent. A young Benjamin Linus is resting inside.]

MAN: Hello, Benjamin.

YOUNG BEN: What happened?

MAN: You were injured.


MAN: You don't remember?

YOUNG BEN: Where am I?

MAN: You're among friends. We're going to take care of you.

YOUNG BEN: My dad -- Is he here?

MAN: You'll be back to him soon enough.

YOUNG BEN: No. No, I don't want to go back.

[Ben tries to sit up, but gasps.]

MAN: Okay, easy. Easy.

YOUNG BEN: Oh! [Groans] [strained voice] I don't want to go back. [Inhales deeply] [Normal voice] I wanna stay. I wanna be one of you.

MAN: Just because you're living with them doesn't mean you can't be one of us. You should be dead, Benjamin. But this Island... it saved your life.

YOUNG BEN: Who are you?

MAN: I'm Charles. Charles Widmore.

[Present - Ben is sleeping at the makeshift infirmary at the Hydra. Locke is watching over him.]


[Ben wakes up.]

LOCKE: Hello, Ben. Welcome back to the land of the living.

BEN: [Whispers] My God. You're alive.

LOCKE: Yes, I am.

BEN: I knew it. I knew that this would happen.

LOCKE: Then why are you so surprised to see me?

BEN: [Normal voice] Because it's one thing to believe it, John. It's another thing to see it.

LOCKE: Then why were you trying to run away to the main Island?

BEN: I broke the rules, John. I came back to the Island. I was going to answer for what I'd done. I was going back... to be judged.

LOCKE: [Whispers] Judged? [Normal voice] By whom?

BEN: Well, J-John, we don't even have a word for it, but I believe you call it the Monster.

Act 2

[On the beach on Hydra Island, Ben walks past a group of survivors who are fixing lengths of bamboo to the sides of a metal crate.]

ILANA: Morning.

BEN: Hello. What's in the crate?

ILANA: Just some stuff we need to get moved.

BEN: Need a hand?

BRAM: Oh, thanks. We got it.

BEN: Okay. Have a great day.

[He leaves and searches a bag for a bottle of water. Ceasar approaches.]

CEASAR: How you feeling, my friend?

BEN: Like someone hit me with an oar, but I'll live.

CAESAR: [Motions toward Locke in background] What do you make of him?

BEN: I'm not sure. What has he told you?

CAESAR: When you were out cold, he was watching over you. And he said you killed him.

BEN: I killed him? Really? 'Cause he looks fine to me. [Chuckles] You know, I don't really remember him from the plane. Do you?

CAESAR: No, I don't.

BEN: What if... he was already here, before we crashed? If he thinks I killed him, then he's insane. We may be dealing with a man who's dangerously deranged. Then the question is, what are we gonna do about it?

CAESAR: Don't worry, my friend.

[Caesar opens his bag and flashes some heat--the sawed-off shotgun taken from underneath the desk in Ben's office.]

CAESAR: I have your back. Caesar.

BEN: Pleasure to meet you, Caesar. I'm Ben.

[Flashback - At night, a grown up yet younger Ben and another small boy crouch behind a bush on a beach.]

TEENAGER: You want me to do it?

BEN: Shh.

TEENAGER: I can do it if you want me to, Ben.

BEN: [Whispers] Shut up! And stay here, Ethan.

[Ben draws a gun and makes his way to a tent on the beach. He cocks his gun, enters the tent and aims it at a woman who is sleeping. Suddenly a baby begins to cry, which startles Ben and causes him to knock a music box onto the floor. It opens and begins to play, waking the sleeping woman, who is revealed to be Rousseau. She tries to grab her rifle.]

BEN: Don't! Don't do it.

[Baby continues crying.]

ROUSSEAU: You're the one who infected us, aren't you?! C'est vous qui nous avez infectés!

[Ben moves toward the baby.]

ROUSSEAU: Non! Non! Rendez-moi mon bébé! Non!

BEN: Shh.

ROUSSEAU: Rendez-moi mon bébé!

BEN: It's okay. It's okay, baby.

[With his gun still on Rousseau, he picks the baby up.]

ROUSSEAU: Ne l'infectez pas, lui aussi! [Shouts, repeating herself] Please, don't take my Alex!

BEN: Do you want your baby to live?

ROUSSEAU: Why are you taking her?!

[Rousseau attempts to get up, but Ben fires a warning shot. Alex wailing.]

BEN: Be grateful you're still alive. Now you listen to me. If you try to follow me or if you ever come looking for me, I'll kill you. And if you want your child to live, every time you hear whispers, you run the other way.

[Ben leaves the tent. Rousseau cries.]

[Present - In his Hydra office, Ben opens a drawer and searches through it. He closes it and looks around his desk, opening another drawer, and another drawer, until he finds a framed photograph of him and Alex. He takes it from the frame. Locke startles him.]

LOCKE: What's that?

BEN: Just something sentimental.

[Ben folds the photo and puts it in his pocket. Locke walks behind the desk as Ben walks to the front of it.]

LOCKE: So this is your old office, huh? I never pictured you leading your people from behind a desk. It seems a little... [chair rattles as he sits] corporate.

[Chair continues rattling. He sighs and puts his feet on the desk.]

BEN: Was there something that you needed, John?

LOCKE: Well, Ben, I was hoping that you and I could talk about the elephant in the room.

BEN: I assume you're referring to the fact that I killed you.

LOCKE: Yeah. [Clicks tongue]

BEN: It was the only way to get you back to the Island, along with as many of those who left as possible. You do remember, John--that's why you left in the first place, to convince 'em to come back? But you failed. And the only way to bring them together was by your death, and you understood that. It's why you were about to kill yourself when I stopped you.

LOCKE: If all I had to do was die, Ben, they why did you stop me?

BEN: You had critical information that would've died with you. And once you'd given it to me... well, I just didn't have time to talk you back into hanging yourself. So I took a shortcut. And look at you, John. I was right. You're here. You're back. So are the rest of them. I don't know where yet exactly, but they came. It worked. And that's why I did it, because it was in the best interests of the Island. [takes off his glasses]

LOCKE: [Sniffs] I was just hoping for an apology.

[Ben stares at Locke and does not respond. Chair rattles as Locke stands up.]

LOCKE: I've decided to help you, Ben.

BEN: Help me do what?

LOCKE: Do what you say you are on your way to do. Be judged.

BEN: That's not something you want to see, John.

LOCKE: If everything you've done has been in the best interests of the Island... [moves closer to Ben] then I'm sure the Monster will understand. Let's go.

[On the beach, Locke and Ben uncover an outrigger. A shout comes from a short distance.]


[Caesar walks up with three other men.]

CAESAR: What are you doing?

LOCKE: We're taking a boat.

CAESAR: Where?

LOCKE: Over to the main Island.

CAESAR: I don't think so, my friend.

LOCKE: Are these your boats?

CAESAR: Are they yours?

LOCKE: Caesar, right? I was under the impression these were found here, so I'm just gonna borrow one. I'm happy to leave the other boat for you in case you want to follow us.

CAESAR: "Us"? [to Ben] Are you going with him?

BEN: He didn't really give me a choice.

CAESAR: I'm sorry, but I'm calling the shots here, and I say you are not taking anything. What you are going to do is to sit down and tell us how you know so much about this Island, my friend.

[Locke bangs his shoes and puts them into a backpack.]

LOCKE: You're in the habit of calling people "friend", but I don't think you mean it.

CAESAR: Step away from the boat.

LOCKE: No. I'm not gonna step away from the boat. I'm gonna take it, and you're gonna let me, my friend.

CAESAR: You're not taking anything.

[Caesar reaches into his bag for the sawed-off shotgun, but Ben points it at Caesar.]

BEN: You looking for this?

[Ben fires, blowing Caesar away. Struck square in the chest, Caesar flies backwards with a grunt. Ben turns the gun to the other three men.]

BEN: This gentleman and I are taking a boat. Does anyone else have a problem with that?

[Stunned, the other three men shake their heads and back away. Ben throws the shotgun to Locke, who catches it.]

BEN: Consider that my apology.

Act 3

[Birds chirping and squawking in distance as Locke and Ben arrive at the dock on the main Island.]

BEN: Home sweet home.

LOCKE: Looks like we're not the first ones who decided to tie up here.

BEN: That would be Sun and Lapidus. I showed 'em where the boats were, and Sun thanked me by smashing me on the head with a paddle.

LOCKE: Oh. Is she the one that hurt your arm? I noticed you were favoring it on the way over.

BEN: No. Someone else hurt my arm.

LOCKE: You just make friends everywhere you go, don't ya?

BEN: Well, I've found sometimes that friends can be significantly more dangerous than enemies, John.

LOCKE: Is that why you shot an unarmed man in the chest?

BEN: The man was unarmed because I'd stolen his gun--the gun he was going to use to kill you. I couldn't let that happen.

LOCKE: No sense in me dying twice, right?

BEN: You're welcome.

LOCKE: We're going to your old house, aren't we?

BEN: Yes. It's the only place I can summon it... the "monster." Once it arrives, I'll either be forgiven... or I won't.

LOCKE: I think you're lying.

BEN: Lying about what?

LOCKE: That you want to be judged for leaving the Island and coming back because it's against the rules. I don't think you care about rules.

BEN: Then what do I want to be judged for, John?

LOCKE: For killing your daughter.

[Flashback - In the jungle at night, Ben and young Ethan arrive back at the Others camp.]

WIDMORE: Well? Did you do it?

BEN: We had a...

[Alex fusses.]

BEN: ...complication.

[Alex cries.]

WIDMORE: I'm sorry. Is that a... baby? Your orders were to exterminate that woman.

BEN: Why? She's no threat to us. She's insane, Charles. Besides, you didn't tell me she had a child. What was it I was supposed to do?

CHARLES: Kill it.

[Alex cries.]

BEN: It's not an "it". This is a child.

[Widmore gets up and walks over to Ben.]

WIDMORE: You might find this difficult to understand, Benjamin... every decision I've made has been about protecting this Island.

BEN: Is killing this baby what Jacob wants?

[Alex fusses.]

BEN: Then here she is.

[Ben holds her out to Widmore. Alex cries.]

BEN: You do it.

[Widmore scoffs and backs down, then leaves.]

[Present - The "PROCESSING CENTER" sign hangs swings from its single remaining chain, making a metal creaking sound in the night. Ben and Locke walk through the Barracks.]

LOCKE: So whose idea was it to move into these houses?

BEN: Excuse me?

LOCKE: Well, your people were living in the jungle. And then after you murdered the DHARMA folk, you relocated here. I just wondered if it was your idea.

BEN: Do you disapprove, John?

LOCKE: It just doesn't seem like something the Island would want.

BEN: You don't have the first idea what this Island wants.

LOCKE: Are you sure about that?

[Inside one of the houses, a light turns on.]

LOCKE: That was your house, wasn't it?

BEN: Yes, and that's Alex's room.

LOCKE: Well, I suppose you better go over there and check it out.

[Ben enters the house and notices the came of Risk is still on the table, as it was back in 2004. He walks through the house to Alex's room and opens the door to find Sun, who is scared by the sudden entrance.]

BEN: Sun?

LAPIDUS: [entering] What are you doing here?

BEN: This used to be my house. I saw a light turned on. What are the two of you doing in here?

[Lapidus hands Ben the DHARMA Initiative new recruit group photo from the Processing Center.]

SUN: That was taken in 1977.

BEN: Are you trying to tell me that your friends were in the DHARMA Initiative?

SUN: You don't know about this?

BEN: Of course not. Where did you get this? Who gave this to you?

LAPIDUS: We met some crazy old man outside.

SUN: He said his name was Christian. He told us to come in here and wait.

BEN: Wait for what?

SUN: He said if I ever wanted to see my husband again, I had to wait here for John Locke.

LAPIDUS: But considering he's dead, we ain't holding our breath.

BEN: Well, you might want to look outside.

[Sun looks out the window and sees John Locke, who waves.]

Act 4

[Locke is now in the house, Sun is staring at him. Frank and Ben remain silent.]

SUN: What you're saying, it's... impossible.

LOCKE: But here I am. I don't know how, I don't know why, but I'm sure there's a very good reason for it.

LAPIDUS: As long as the dead guy says there's a reason, well, then I guess everything's gonna be just peachy. And forget about the fact that the rest of your people are supposedly 30 years ago... now the only ones who are here to help us are a murderer and a guy who can't seem to remember how the hell he got out of a coffin. Sun, please, let's just go back to the plane, see if I can fix the radio, and maybe we can get some help.

LOCKE: If you leave with him, you'll never find your husband again. I'm all the help you need.

SUN: Are you saying you know how to find them? How to find Jin?

LOCKE: I have some ideas.

LAPIDUS: I'm sorry to say, but I'm leaving with or without you.

SUN: If there's any chance of finding my husband, then I have to stay.

LAPIDUS: All right. Well, for God sake, watch your back.

[Frank leaves. Door opens.]

SUN: All right.

[Door closes.]

SUN: How do we find Jin?

LOCKE: Ben has something to do first. Isn't that right, Ben?

BEN: Yes, John. That's right.

LOCKE: Better get to it then.

[Ben slides the bookcase forward and enters his hidden room. He closes the door and slides the panel back to reveal a stone door with hieroglyphics on it. He pushes this door open, which requires some effort, then proceeds to light a gas lamp and make his way down a tunnel. He comes to a puddle of muddy water in the floor. Reaching down into the water, Ben twists something and the water drains away.]

BEN: I'll be outside.

[Flashback - Ben is pushing Alex on the swing in the Barracks.]

ALEX: Again, Daddy! Again!


BEN: Okay. Okay. [Chuckles]

[Richard arrives.]

RICHARD: Wow, Alex! Any higher, and you're gonna fly right off the Island.

[Alex laughs.]

RICHARD: [to Ben] The sub's about to leave.

ALEX: Higher, Daddy! Higher!

BEN: All right.

RICHARD: You don't have to see him off, Ben.

BEN: Yes, Richard, I do.

ALEX: Higher! Higher, Daddy!

[Metal clanks.]

[On the dock, Widmore handcuffed and is being escorted by two men to the submarine. Birds squawking in distance. Ben catches up to them.]

BEN: Charles!

[The guards stop.]

BEN: I came to say good-bye.

WIDMORE: [Chuckles] No, you didn't. You came to gloat.

BEN: No, don't act as if I wanted this. You brought this on yourself.

WIDMORE: Are you quite certain you want to do this, Benjamin?

BEN: You left the Island regularly. You had a daughter with an outsider. You broke the rules, Charles.

WIDMORE: And what makes you think you deserve to take what's mine?

BEN: Because I won't be selfish. Because I'll sacrifice anything to protect this Island.

WIDMORE: You wouldn't sacrifice Alex.

BEN: You're the one who wanted her dead, Charles, not the Island.

WIDMORE: I hope you're right, Benjamin, because if you aren't, and it is the Island that wants her dead, she'll be dead. And one day, you'll be standing where I'm standing now. You'll be the one being banished, and then you'll finally realize that you cannot fight the inevitable. I'll be seeing you, boy.

[He turns and walks toward the sub.]

[Present - Sun is sat on a bench outside Ben's house. Ben comes outside.]

BEN: Where did John go?

SUN: He said he had something to do.

BEN: Did he say what it was?

SUN: No, I didn't ask. Jack must have lied.

BEN: Excuse me?

SUN: About Locke being dead? I don't know why he would, but that's the only explanation.

BEN: Jack didn't lie. John was dead.

SUN: Just because he was in a coffin doesn't mean that he couldn't have faked his dea--

BEN: [Forcefully] Trust me. I'm sure.

SUN: So you knew this would happen to Locke if we brought him back here?

BEN: Sun, I had no idea it would happen. I've seen this Island do miraculous things. I've seen it heal the sick, but never once has it done anything like this. Dead is dead. You don't get to come back from that, not even here. So the fact that John Locke is walking around this Island... scares the living hell out of me.


BEN: You may want to go inside.

SUN: Why?

BEN: Because what's about to come out of that jungle is something I can't control.

[Footsteps approach. Locke steps out of the bushes.]

LOCKE: Any luck?

BEN: It hasn't shown up yet.

LOCKE: Last time we didn't have to wait this long.

BEN: It's not a train, John. It doesn't run on a schedule.

LOCKE: Well, if it's not gonna come to us, then... I suppose we'll have to go to it.

BEN: It doesn't work that way. I only know how to summon it. I don't know where it actually is.

LOCKE: I do.

Act 5

[Locke is preparing a torch.]

LOCKE: It's weird for me, too.

SUN: Excuse me?

LOCKE: I realize how strange this all is--me, here. But I assure you, Sun, I'm the same man I've always been.

[Ben comes outside.]

LOCKE: [to Ben] Are you ready?

BEN: Lead the way.

[Flashback, off-Island - At the Long Beach Marina. European phone rings.]


BEN: Charles? It's Benjamin.

WIDMORE: How did you get this number?

BEN: Doesn't matter. What matters is I'm going back to the Island today.

[Widmore is in London, leaving his office building.]

WIDMORE: The Island won't let you come back, trust me. I've spent almost 20 years trying to return.

BEN: Well, Charles, where you failed, I'm going to succeed... just as soon as I do one thing.

WIDMORE: And what's that, Benjamin?

BEN: Kill your daughter. [he sees Penny on a boat] In fact, I'm looking at Our Mutual Friend right now.

WIDMORE: I don't know what you're talking about.

BEN: It's the name of the boat that Penny's on.

WIDMORE: Don't you dare.

BEN: Good-bye, Charles.

[Line disconnects. Ben shuts his cell phone.]

[Present - Locke is leading Ben and Sun through the jungle.]

BEN: May I ask you a question, John?

LOCKE: Shoot.

BEN: How is it that you know where you're going?

LOCKE: I just know.

BEN: I mean, how does that work, exactly?

LOCKE: How does what work?

BEN: The knowing. I mean, did it come upon you gradually, or did you wake up one morning suddenly understanding the mysteries of the universe?

LOCKE: You don't like this, do you?

BEN: What?

[They all stop.]

LOCKE: Having to ask questions that you don't know the answers to, blindly following someone in the hopes that they'll lead you to whatever it is you're looking for.

BEN: No, John, I don't like it at all.

LOCKE: Well, now you know what it was like to be me.

SUN: We should keep moving.

LOCKE: Yes, we should.

[They continue.]

BEN: I think I know where we're going now, John.

LOCKE: Do you?

BEN: It's the same place they brought me as a child. It's where the Island healed me.

LOCKE: Well... let's hope it's as generous this time around.

[They come upon the Temple wall.]

SUN: What is it?

BEN: It's the wall around our Temple.

SUN: What Temple?

BEN: About a half mile from here. We built this wall to keep people like the two of you from ever seeing it.

LOCKE: We're not going into your Temple, Ben.

[Locke looks down into a hole.]

LOCKE: We're going under it.

[Ben moves closer to the hole.]

LOCKE: After you.

BEN: I need to ask a favor of you, Sun. If you can ever get off this Island, find Desmond Hume for me. Tell him I said I was sorry.

SUN: Sorry for what?

BEN: [Gasps] He'll know.

[Ben enters the hole, followed by Locke.]

[Flashback, off-Island - Ben is still at the marina. He starts to walk to the boat Penny is on, when Desmond notices him as he gets groceries from his car.]

DESMOND: Hey! What are you doing here?

[Ben stops and turns. Then he shoots Desmond, sending him clattering to the ground.]

PENNY: Desmond! Desmond! Des?!

BEN: Don't move. Not another word. Hello, Penelope. My name is Benjamin Linus. I'm sorry that you're caught up in the middle of this thing, but your father--

PENNY: My father and I have absolutely no relationship whatsoever, so whatever--

BEN: Your father is a really terrible human being. He's responsible for the killing of my daughter. That's why I'm here.

[A toddler emerges from below deck.]


PENNY: [Voice breaking] Charlie, go back inside, babe. Go back inside. [To Ben] Please. Please, whatever you do, don't hurt my son. Please don't hurt my son.

CHARLIE: Mommy? Mommy?

PENNY: Charlie, go inside!

[The lad obeys. Ben lowers the gun, and is attacked by Desmond.]


[Both grunting. Desmond beats Ben, knocking the gun away, and throwing Ben into the harbour. Ben is shown underwater, bleeding from his nose.]

Act 6

[Present - Frank is back on Hydra Island. A man runs up to him.]

MAN: Captain Lapidus! Captain Lapidus! You're back. Thank God. They found guns.

LAPIDUS: What are you talking about? Who found guns?

MAN: Ilana and three of the others. They said they were in charge now.

LAPIDUS: Where are they?

[Up the beach, Ilana and Bram are still working on the crate.]


[Ilana picks up her rifle and cocks it. She aims it at Frank.]

LAPIDUS: What's going on?

ILANA: What lies in the shadow of the statue?


BRAM: Answer the question!

ILANA: What lies in the shadow of the statue?

LAPIDUS: I have no idea what the--

[Ilana hits Frank on the head with the butt of her rifle, sending him to the sand with a grunt.]

ILANA: [to Bram] Get everyone else. Tell them it's time. And tie him up. He's coming with us.

[Bram leaves.]

[Under the Temple, Locke lights a torch and gives it to Ben. They make their way through the corridors.]

BEN: You know, you were right.

LOCKE: About what?

BEN: Why I need to be judged. When Charles Widmore's men came, they gave me a choice. Either leave the Island or let my daughter die. All I had to do was walk out of the house and go with them. But I didn't do it. So you were right. John, I did kill Alex. And now I have to answer for that. I appreciate you showing me the way, but I think I can take it from here.

LOCKE: You got it.

BEN: I'll meet you outside, if I live--Aah!

[Ben makes a false step and the stone floor collapses underneath him. Ben falls into a chamber below, lit only by the light of his torch. Ben grunts as he lays on the stone floor of the chamber.]


[Ben groans in reply.]

LOCKE: Are you all right?

BEN: [Grunts] Never better.

LOCKE: Hang on. I'll find something to get you out of there.

BEN: John, wait!

[Locke leaves. With a grunt, Ben lifts himself up off the floor. Nothing broken. He finds himself in a room filled with pillars covered in hieroglyphics. He comes to a stone carving on a wall above a stone vent with lots of holes. The chittering of the monster is heard. Suddenly, Ben's torch flame goes out and black smoke begins to ooze out of the holes in the stone. It spreads across the floor around his feet, then forms a tendril and surrounds Ben. Inside the smoke, Ben sees images of Alex.]

BEN'S VOICE: You didn't tell me she had a child. What was it I was supposed to do?

[Image of Widmore's face.]


BEN'S VOICE: It's not an "it." This is a child.

[Image of Ben pushing Alex on a swing.]

ALEX'S VOICE: Higher! Again, Daddy! Again! [Giggles] Higher! Higher, Daddy!

[Image of a teenage Alex.]

ALEX'S VOICE: I hate you! I hate your guts! I wish you were dead.

[Image of Alex's face.]

ALEX'S VOICE: These people--you said they're dangerous. More dangerous than you?

[Image of Alex holding a walkie talkie in front of Keamy.]

ALEX'S VOICE: [Sobbing] Dad, they're serious. They killed Karl and my mother. Please, Dad. Help me!

BEN'S VOICE: She's not my daughter. She means nothing to me. So if you wanna kill her, go ahead and--

[Image of Alex being shot. The smoke recedes back into the vent. The flame is restored to Ben's torch.]

ALEX: Daddy?

[Ben whirls around to see Alex standing in the chamber.]

BEN: Alex.

ALEX: Hi, Dad.

BEN: Ohh, Alex. I'm so, so sorry. It was all my fault.

ALEX: I know.

[Suddenly Alex grabs Ben by the collar and forces him against a pillar.]

ALEX: Listen to me, you bastard! I know that you're already planning to kill John again, and I want you to know that if you so much as touch him, I will hunt you down and destroy you. You will listen to every word John Locke says, and you will follow his every order. Do you understand?

[Ben nods, fear-stricken.]

ALEX: Say it! Say you'll follow him.

BEN: Yes, I will. I'll follow him. I swear. [Whimpers]

[Ben closes his eyes and Alex lets go of him. When he opens his eyes, she is gone. He picks up his torch.]

LOCKE: [from above] Ben? [throwing a vine down the hole in the floor] Ben! Ben?

[Ben looks up from the chamber below.]

LOCKE: What happened?

BEN: It let me live.